HALFWAY THERE…..

15 Chapters done. I think I deserve an Egg Custard and a brew. Especially after completing that last chapter about food…….If you’re feeling a bit peckish yourself, I’ll treat you to my Mams Stew recipe. A little something to tide you over whilst I complete chapters 16 – I’d better shut up now!

Enjoy, and please note, more recipes can be found in the appendix to ‘A Northern Life’

These include:

OXO Cube soup
Fillingless bread with Salt and Pepper garnish
Sugar butty gateau
Jelly cube vol au vents (Pastry free)

MAM’S STEW

Good for torturing young children and making Dads take over kitchen duties.

INGREDIENTS
1 to 7Ibs of Stewing meat <dependant on amount of sprogs at any given time>
Please note: No particular animal/meat type is mentioned. This is not a typo error. Unnamed meat is cheaper.

A ‘Nunion’ <well that’s how we say it>

Water <Lots>

Potatoes <lovely as chips…..’orrible in stew>

Salt and pepper to taste <if you remember>

Carrots <for colour. But mainly ‘cos kids hate them>

Seasonal veg also make this a very versatile dish. For example: Sprouts turn it into ‘Festive Stew’

An OXO cube <if there’s any left. if not chuck in some gravy browning>

INSTRUCTIONS
Take one large pan. The one for boiling nappies is ideal…..remove nappies first….or don’t. It makes no difference to the taste

Peel anything with a skin. Leave fat on the meat. It’s good for kids….anything that looks and tastes horrible is good for kids.

Chop up anything little mouths can choke on. Some of you may have a kid with a big gob….. Leave an extra big piece of fatty meat, just for her.

Put the peeled and chopped stuff in the pan. Fill to the top with water. Boil for hours. Serve.

Leave kids in kitchen with threat of ‘death’ if they don’t eat every last bit.

Watch Z Cars in peace.

Re-enter kitchen. Smile at empty plates. Send kids to bed.

Feel suspicious. Borrow next doors dog to sniff out food. Find food, behind immersion heater, in plant-pot on window sill and wedged beneath Mangle.

Find additional chunks in Ewbank.

Visit kids bedroom….Take belt….Use belt.

Clean kitchen. Put remaining stew <Loads> in Tupperware container. Serve for next 5 meals!

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4 thoughts on “HALFWAY THERE…..

  1. Haha! sounds similar to our stew when I was a kid. I must have had a big gob as I got the big fatty one everytime! No wonder I’ve a fat belly now, that’s what did it! Do you think I can claim?
    Well Done can’t wait for your book xx

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